


Though Our Love Will Change

by fallouise



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:54:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22790548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallouise/pseuds/fallouise
Summary: “My favorite Chii-chan is the one that loves so frankly. Whether we love in private or public, it does not matter to me. So never doubt the feelings that led you to asking that of me.”Getting into a relationship was just the starting point. Agreeing to date in secret was only the beginning. As Kaoru and Chisato consider what the right words are for each other, they find that it's not three special words, but a conversation.
Relationships: Seta Kaoru/Shirasagi Chisato
Comments: 4
Kudos: 85





	Though Our Love Will Change

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



She was going to be late for school.

Seven minutes after her alarm went off, Chisato Shirasagi still found herself in bed, with Kaoru’s arms wrapping around her torso. As Kaoru’s stray fingers played with the ends of her shirt, Chisato idly recounted her morning rituals. She should be brushing her teeth, or possibly checking her email. Ten minutes after her alarm, Chisato should have been pulling her school uniform out of her closet. Her mornings had a routine. Yet as Kaoru Seta pulled her closer, pressing her lips to Chisato’s cheek and planting a lazy kiss, Chisato was tempted to forgo the entire day altogether to stay in bed.

“What I would do to wake up with my girlfriend in my arms every day,” Kaoru mumbled. With her eyes still closed, she squeezed Chisato. “If I were to open my eyes, that would mean the day has started, and that we would be forced to part. Is it a sin to remain blissfully unaware of the time? Am I a sinner, to be bewitched by your beauty?”

Chisato propped herself up on one elbow, looking down at the other girl. Disheveled purple hair and a gentle, almost expectant smile—Kaoru wanted to be kissed. If any of Kaoru’s fans saw her now, their mental image of the dashing Kaoru would be completely shattered. Brushing aside Kaoru’s bangs, Chisato released a sigh. Her hand came to rest on the girl’s shoulder. It was a good thing, then, that the only person privy to this side of Kaoru was her alone. “Shouldn’t you save your flirting for your little kittens?”

“Of course not,” Kaoru’s eyes opened in surprise. “If anything, I hold onto the best lines for you.”

“You don’t have to do that for me,” Chisato smiled, leaning forward for a quick kiss. Kaoru reciprocated happily, following after Chisato for another kiss and drawing the girl closer, so that she lay atop of her. Chisato knelt with her legs on either side of the other girl. “You _really_ don’t have to.”

Kaoru laughed as Chisato held the girl’s face within her hands. “Are you sure? Some of them must be working, if I’ve enraptured you as much I have.”

“Kao-chan,” she grimaced, ignoring the blush on her own face.

“Ah—I, yes, I understand,” Upon hearing the childhood nickname, Kaoru let her head fall onto the pillow once more. She raised her hands as if to surrender, complete with an apologetic smile and a quiet chuckle. “It’s a little too early for the teasing, I take it.”

It wasn’t that she particularly cared for the overly affectionate flirting. Chisato knew that it was how Kaoru expressed herself, in both the times she wanted to put on a show and the times she wanted to be genuine. It helped no one that not even Kaoru could differentiate between the two, but it wasn’t the words that were important to listen to. Of course, it obviously couldn’t be that, when Kaoru didn’t understand a quarter of the words that spilled from her mouth.

The feelings behind her superfluous words, though, those were always genuine.

She traced her fingers along Kaoru’s lower lip, furrowing her brows when she felt Kaoru breathe in sharply. And her eyes watched Chisato’s every move, patiently and kindly.

“You make it difficult to get ready for school,” Chisato accused without any conviction.

Kaoru rested her hands behind her head, blinking the sleep from her eyes. Something about the complete lack of pretenses, how Kaoru hid nothing from her, made Chisato’s heart skip a beat. “I think there’s praise buried behind those words. How many others can hinder your punctual self, hm?”

“Now you’re just fishing for compliments,” she deflected, tracing her hands up Kaoru’s arms to link their hands together. Leaning backward, she tugged Kaoru to sit up, adjusting herself so that she was comfortably in the girl’s lap. As close as they were together now, fingers still interlaced, Chisato knew that this side of her was for Kaoru alone, just as this side of Kaoru was for her. “But you’re right. Not many can.”

“Then I suppose it’s my obligation among those special few that we get to school in time,” Kaoru released their handhold, hands sliding down Chisato’s sides and lowering until she wrapped her arms around her thighs.

“You wouldn’t—”

“One, _two_ -!”

Chisato was cut off as Kaoru lifted her up, standing atop the bed. Laughter bubbled out of her. The sound only further invigorated the other girl, circling around with Chisato. Her arms clutched around Kaoru’s shoulders. Oh, her tall, ridiculous, loving girlfriend. Kaoru loved so much that it was impossible to hide anything. “To the bathroom, then, my steed.”

“As you wish, so it will be,” Kaoru acquiesced, taking her sweet time so that she could give quick pecks and kisses all over Chisato’s face.

And, as in the rare occasions that she felt comfortable doing so, Chisato returned Kaoru’s displays of affection. At first, she undid the topmost buttons of Kaoru’s pajamas, stopping when Kaoru angled her head to catch Chisato’s lips with her own. Though Kaoru was eager, and oh so loving, she never pushed boundaries. She initiated the kiss, but she waited for Chisato’s assent, to take the lead and establish how far she was willing to go.

There were other rare instances as well, where it was Kaoru who was the more responsible of the two.

A quick turn of the doorknob and Kaoru walked the two of them into the bathroom. She placed Chisato onto the edge of the bathroom table. It was when Kaoru pulled away from their kiss and stood back that Chisato’s frown formed into a pout.

“You know it breaks my heart as much as yours,” Kaoru clutched a hand over her heart. “especially when we cannot share these moments in the public eye.”

At her words, Chisato felt herself sober up. She watched as Kaoru pulled their toothbrushes out of the cabinet, applying toothpaste to both and handing Chisato hers. It was never going to be easy once they left the privacy of their homes. They were in their third year of high school. Chisato’s career as both an actress and an idol only continued to grow, while Kaoru had garnered a repertoire with the local theater troupe. It wasn’t unusual that someone recognized them in public.

Most of Chisato’s life had long been dissected since childhood. From people she saw in person to people she would never meet, Chisato was a spectacle. Did she only speak to others if she could benefit from it? How lavish her life must be, to be a childhood actress? What parts of her onscreen personality were an act or her genuine self? It was selfish on her part to hide away Kaoru. It was selfish, yet she couldn’t find it in herself to regret it.

She just didn’t want the world to question what she had with Kaoru. Her relationship with Kaoru was where she felt the safest, just as it was where she was most vulnerable.

Kaoru was already brushing her teeth when Chisato murmured, “I’m sorry that we keep our relationship a secret for my sake, Kaoru.”

The girl immediately raised a hand to stop her.

They both focused on brushing their teeth. Rinse, gargle, then washing their faces, they prepared for the day in coordinated silence. As Chisato removed her nightgown and pulled her school uniform out of her closet, she felt Kaoru watching her from behind. Once she straightened out the hem of the dress, Chisato turned around to find Kaoru’s arms wide open for a hug.

She didn’t need any more incentive. Chisato closed the space between them and melted into the hug.

“If it puts your mind at ease, and you feel more comfortable dating in secret, then it goes the same for me,” Kaoru led Chisato to the front door with an arm over her shoulders. “How could I demand otherwise, knowing how it would make you feel? My favorite Chii-chan is the one that loves so frankly. Whether we love in private or public, it does not matter to me. So never doubt the feelings that led you to asking that of me.”

What could she say to that? Her words comforted Chisato in the same way that comfort food did after a long day. It was what she wanted to hear, being the one who asked that they date in private, and yet her heart still felt heavy. Kaoru was always so steadfast and dedicated. Kaoru loved her so much, so much that Chisato felt like she could barely contain it within herself.

Steeling herself for the day, Chisato opened the door and flashed one last smile to Kaoru alone.

“Thank you, Kao-chan.”

…

Kaoru Seta was in a daze.

The feeling of Chisato was still fresh in her memory, from how the girl felt within her hands as she carried her around, to the sound of her voice, slightly raspy in the morning. Or those lips, as they teased and laughed and smiled. How fortunate that Chisato’s mother trusted Kaoru to sleepover as often as she did, knowing none the wiser of their relationship.

Nonetheless, she had to put on an act at school. Girls liked her attention and came to her for all sorts of topics, and Kaoru enjoyed being the type of person they relied on. And yet, with a girl’s sideways glance and a blush on her cheeks, Kaoru couldn’t help but think of Chisato once more.

How was Chisato doing at Hanasakigawa? Was she in the same predicament, unable to keep her thoughts from returning to the other girl?

Classes ended in a blur. She supposed it was some blessing in disguise that no one thought twice of her absentmindedness. Not even band practice was enough to bring her back into the present. Neither Kanon explaining how to adjust the drum kit, nor Kokoro talking about a new song idea held her attention for long. Misaki was filling in for Michelle today, and though it was always a nice change of pace to see her junior, Kaoru’s mind was straying, wandering, leading back to Chisato.

It wouldn’t be awhile until Chisato had a free evening. Considering how they ended this morning, Kaoru felt restless. Did she say the right thing? Was that what Chisato needed to hear? Surely it would be fine if she stepped out for a moment to call her girlfriend. The band was doing individual practice as Hagumi and Kanon repeated a section of the bridge together. If any time was the right time, it would be now.

“Dearest bandmates,” she called their attention as she placed her guitar down. “Might I excuse myself for just a moment? I forgot I had to make a call earlier.”

“Is everything okay?” Misaki asked behind the DJ board. The girl may have a prickly exterior, but she was far kinder and more open to things than even she herself realized. Arms crossed and leaning back, her posture was not enough to deter Kaoru from the concern in her voice.

“You needn’t worry. No tears will be shed with this call,” she bowed deep from the waist. She offered a smile to Misaki, who just shook her head in disbelief.

Kokoro perked up at the mention of a loved one. She bounded towards Kaoru, enthusiastically placing her hands on the girl’s shoulders and jumping up and down. The ways that Kaoru interacted with these underclassmen were different from the theater club or as a third-year student at Haneoka. In the time that she’d known every member of Hello Happy World, it was as if she found new parts of herself through each of them. When it came to Kokoro, it was easy to imagine that small things can be life changing.

So, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, when their blonde leader reassured her with a “Your call will definitely make the person smile!” Kaoru found herself believing in it.

“I’ll do my best,” she placed a hand over Kokoro’s and squeezed it, before taking her leave.

Down the hall and out the back exit, Kaoru found herself alone with her phone in hand. One deep breath in, hold for three seconds, and release slowly. Just as in improv acting, one must always be prepared for any possibility. She sent a quick text.

 **To: Chisato Shirasagi  
From: Kaoru Seta**  
Would you grace me with the sound of your voice?  
My soul withers without you to nurture it… 🥀

Kaoru imagined that Chisato would respond quicker if she provided something to jibe at.

She felt a small victory when her phone vibrated soon after.

 **To: Kaoru Seta  
From: Chisato Shirasagi**  
😊🔪 Then wither.

 **To: Kaoru Seta**  
From: Chisato Shirasagi  
But yes, I can call you in a minute.

She lowered herself to a crouch, placing her weight onto the heels of her feet and leaning against the wall behind her. Compared to a day that passed by and a band practice she couldn’t focus on, waiting a moment for Chisato felt like nothing. At the first ring, Kaoru answered the call.

“I can’t speak for long,” Chisato said without preamble, sighing afterward. “Was there an emergency, or was my voice all you wanted?”

“Seeing you in person would be the best-case scenario, really,” Kaoru rested her elbow on her knee, pressing the phone closer to her ear.

“Kaoru.”

She could hear the frown in the girl’s voice already. Chisato did mention that she was working with that one strict director recently. Perhaps she was stressed from that. If that was the case, then Kaoru would have to bypass the teasing and be more direct.

“Let’s go on a date this weekend,” she declared. “I know your schedule can’t fit another sleepover, but even a small thing could work, don’t you think?”

“I—” Chisato paused for a moment. Someone on her end of the line called to her. After a quick exchange, Chisato directed her voice to their call once more with a brusque question. “You have band practice tonight?”

Chisato must need to return to work. She’ll keep it brief too. “Yes, at CiRCLE.”

“Wait for me there. You’ll walk me home when we’re both finished for the night.”

Stressed. Kaoru could tell. Chisato was never so apparent in wanting to control situations except for when she was stressed, or when it felt like things were getting out of hand.

“I await eagerly for your arrival, then.”

It sounded like Chisato would end the call right then, until Kaoru heard shuffling sounds. The background noise on Chisato’s end faded away, and when the girl spoke once more, her voice was much closer to the microphone. “Thanks for calling, Kaoru. I might have needed to hear your voice too. It’ll be good to see you.”

Click.

Kaoru slipped her phone into her pocket. She stared down at her hands. One moment passed, then another, and finally a grin broke out onto Kaoru’s face. How cheeky of her girlfriend, to have the last say in the phone call.

No longer dazed, Kaoru felt like she was seeing much clearer than she had all day.

…

Kaoru entered CiRCLE to find the studio room empty. Making her way to the front, Misaki waved her down. She was sitting in the lobby alone.

“Quite thoughtful of you to wait for me,” Kaoru winked at Misaki as she sat across from the other girl. She couldn’t have been outside for more than ten minutes. For the rest of the band to clear out and for Misaki to sit so idly must have meant that practice dispersed not too long after she left.

“We ended early because Kokoro thought you wouldn’t want to be left out,” Misaki offered.

“She truly is the paragon of all things sublime,” Kaoru folded her hands together and covered her eyes, as if to shield herself from Kokoro’s figurative saintliness. Every time Kaoru thought she had Kokoro figured out, it seemed that the girl would find new ways to surprise her. If that wasn’t the machinations of a genius, then Kaoru didn’t know what else was. “It almost pains my heart to realize how pure-hearted our band leader is. There is no one else like her.”

“The two of you give each other too much credit,” Misaki chuckled to the side. She stuffed her hands into her hoodie’s front pocket. “I guess I just wanted to know if things were okay with you. You were more quiet today than, you know, how you usually are.”

Could this perhaps be an intervention? Kaoru peeked at Misaki through her fingers. The girl was staring at the table, maintaining a relaxed posture, as if she wanted to convince herself that their conversation was casual. Kaoru spent enough of her time listening to the woes and cries of girls to tell when one of her closest friends wanted to say something.

“I’ll admit I was preoccupied today,” Kaoru placed her hands in her lap as she thought of how to needle out Misaki’s true objective. She couldn’t outright say she was dating Chisato, but a partial truth couldn’t hurt. “I’ve been thinking about the right words to say to a certain someone. As for the call—it could be considered the first step to knowing what I should say.”

“Is the person a girl?” Misaki looked outside of the CiRCLE lobby, avoiding Kaoru’s gaze.

“Oh? What led you to that?”

“You seem like the type to let romance distract you,” the girl cracked a lopsided smile. Kaoru smiled as well. And just like that, she found herself talking to the real Misaki, the one who noticed the small things in others.

“You’re correct. And I think you and I are the same in that respect,” Kaoru leaned closer.

Misaki turned at her words, shoulders stiffening as she realized what Kaoru was implying. “You think I like someone?” Her voice croaked at her question. Misaki coughed. “You’re turning this onto me?”

She shrugged at that. “Look at it from my perspective! Practice ends early by the graces of our band leader. A text would have sufficed, possibly, but you decide to stay. You want to know. You’re perhaps interested because you think you can learn something. And ahh, for my words to have such an effect! It is a heavy responsibility, but one that I will bear if it means I will have helped you.”

“It’s not that dramatic,” Misaki drew her hands from her hoodie, gesturing with a wave as if to placate Kaoru.

“Life would be rather dull if it didn’t have drama!”

“Okay, fine! Fine. You’re right. So, what kind of girl is she?” Her junior’s hands curled into fists. She was blushing. Misaki was doing anything to steer the conversation away from herself. Lucky for Misaki, Kaoru never shied away from talking about Chisato.

Rather, where would she start? So long as she didn’t say Chisato’s name, anything was free game, and yet even then, there was so much to the girl. There was the Chisato in her childhood memories, smiling so honestly and openly. Then there was the girl she met at the start of high school, who grimaced at the mere sight of Kaoru, or the girl at the cultural festival, as Kaoru beheld her as her Juliet. It wound Kaoru back to the young Chisato, crying about not knowing who she was anymore, and her own younger self, not knowing if she chose the right words to comfort her.

Hm. Kaoru was having trouble finding the words. What encapsulated Chisato the best besides that she was _Chisato_?

“It’s hard to really describe her, ahah. She’s an interesting character,” Kaoru chuckled. The image of waking up with Chisato in her arms that morning came to mind. “In fact, her first impression may be off-putting to others, but she’s surprisingly kind. It’s the kind of kindness that you want to protect. And when she pulls you in, it’s hard to say no to her.”

“Oh,” Misaki looked squarely at Kaoru for the first time this conversation. Did she know who it was? Knowing Misaki, it wouldn’t surprise Kaoru if the girl was able to narrow it down. A small smile played on her face. “And you won’t tell me who she is?”

Kaoru made a zipping motion along her lips. “My heart binds me. Though it’s someone that we both know.”

“Really?” The look of surprise on Misaki made Kaoru laugh.

“And what of you, Misaki? Who is this lucky girl who’s caught your fancy?”

“I’m not saying if you aren’t,” the girl evaded. She picked up her schoolbag and waited for Kaoru to pick up her things as well. Together, they left CiRCLE, lingering near its front. “I mean, uh, thank you for telling me about the girl. I hope things work out.”

“I hope you know you can come to me about anything,” Kaoru nudged the girl by the shoulder. After a moment, though, Kaoru withdrew. “Or could it be—?!”

“It’s not.”

“Could you be in love with me?”

“No! Oh my God, no!”

“I’m sorry to break your heart like this, my girl,” Kaoru took Misaki by the chin and angled her head, so that they made eye contact. “but you are like the moon, pretty and reliable, while the one I love is like that of the sun. Her eyes are always set forward. She truly is amazing.”

Misaki slapped her hand away. “Oh, haha. And, what, you’re a sunflower, because you can never turn away?”

Kaoru pretended to faint, the back of her hand to her forehead and wobbling knees. Seeing her reaction, Misaki grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her out of it. Kaoru chuckled. “Misaki, your poetry is beautiful. It’s lovely.”

The girl blushed. “You should take your flirting down a notch. Won’t your girl get the wrong idea?”

“Who’s this girl you’re talking about?”

Both Kaoru and Misaki turned to find Chisato standing before them.

“Good evening, Misaki-chan,” Chisato spoke in a kind tone, though her business smile and stiff body language suggested otherwise. “Kaoru offered to escort me home tonight.”

“Yeah? That’s nice of her,” she answered quickly. Once glance between Chisato and Kaoru, and Misaki was ducking her head to both her seniors and exiting the scene stage left. “I’ll leave you two to it then.”

Kaoru watched her underclassman walk in the other direction.

Even if the girl put two and two together and realized Kaoru was talking about Chisato, she chose to trust her friend. Misaki avoided being the center of attention, never owning up to the good will of her actions, but it was precisely that trait of hers that made her the perfect unassuming protagonist. Of course, the girl that Kaoru saw in Misaki and the girl that Misaki believed herself to be were two different things. It didn’t discount the fact that both perspectives were Misaki all the same.

“I didn’t tell her it was you,” Kaoru stepped closer towards Chisato, making sure that she didn’t enter her personal space.

Chisato shook her head. “I know you wouldn’t.”

The muted response surprised Kaoru, in a way that caused her to frown. A spirited Chisato would have offered a deathly smile, or acted in her usual, steadfast self-confidence. It was one of the many reasons why Kaoru loved her so much—she was multifaceted, amazingly so. She couldn’t get enough of it. The one thing that Kaoru didn’t know Chisato for, however, was backing down without making her stance known.

Kaoru offered her arm to Chisato. When two hands held onto her at the elbow, they began to walk down the street together.

“Misaki didn’t offer any specifics,” she started with her most recent conversation, because she didn’t know where else to. At the corner of her eye, Kaoru watched Chisato, who held a downcast gaze. “but she is apparently figuring her feelings for another girl. Since I have experience in loving a girl very much, I thought I’d be the best role model for her, never minding that she approached me first or any of the sort.”

Chisato chuckled. “Misaki-chan is lucky to have you as her senior.”

“It’s only because of you, really,” Kaoru placed her other hand atop of Chisato’s, rubbing her thumb over the girl’s knuckles. Chisato tightened her grasp on Kaoru’s arm. “We never did specify where we draw the line for privacy. I might have divulged more than you’re comfortable with.”

“I trust you, Kaoru. When it comes down to it, I know you have my best interest at heart,” Chisato finally looked up at her. She was forcing a bittersweet smile, one that looked not a moment away from tearing up. She slowed their pace down, and Kaoru followed suit, as they paused at a crosswalk. “I—I only wish I could be the same for you.”

“This is not just about dating and doing it secretly, I take it,” she probed, offering a bridge in the conversation for Chisato to cross.

The girl gladly crossed it, releasing her hold on Kaoru’s arm and walking to the other side of the street. Kaoru followed, staying near so that they could continue speaking in low voices. “Can I ask a question, Kaoru? Have you ever doubted loving me?”

“Have I always loved you?” she rephrased, tapping her index finger against her temple in thought. “I must have. I can’t recall a time where I didn’t love you.”

“It wasn’t the same for me,” Chisato admitted.

Huh? Kaoru’s heart seized at those words. It shocked her entire system. The tips of her fingers felt numb. Memories flashed through her mind, of the times where Chisato looked at her with complete disregard or contempt.

It felt like a wound that’d been festering all along. How much of it was Chisato’s true sentiments? Did she still carry those feelings?

The girl continued. She couldn’t offer anything else but her words. “When I saw a glimpse of you in middle school, or when we first started high school, and all those times you approached me before I was ready… I thought about how much easier it would be if I didn’t care about you anymore. Joining Pastel Palettes and being pushed further into the spotlight didn’t help. It only consolidated those feelings. I didn’t want you to become something that people could use to exploit me.”

Chisato took this time to turn to Kaoru. She didn’t hide behind a forced smile anymore, instead showing the most vulnerable that Kaoru had ever seen her at. Chisato was scared. “And when I see how much you love me, unconditionally and relentlessly, I can’t help but think that I haven’t done nearly as much to deserve it."

What words could Shakespeare offer that didn’t end with death pulling them apart, or made light of the situation? What could flowery language do to overcome the doubt and fear that Kaoru felt, and could clearly see reflected in Chisato?

She needed an answer.

“Do you still feel that way? About how it’d be easier to not care about me.”

“I don’t want to.”

“And do you think you’re different than who you were back then?”

“I want to believe that I am.”

If Kaoru could reach into her chest, rip out her bleeding heart, and offer it to Chisato, she absolutely would. As it were, Chisato couldn’t bring herself to cry in public, and Kaoru could only do so much about unshed tears. She reached out a hand to cup Chisato by the cheek. It made Kaoru’s heart twinge to see Chisato hesitate.

“What you’ve just told me is hard to take in. It hurts a lot, to be honest,” Kaoru decided to not hide behind any purple prose. She didn’t know what the right words were. Maybe there weren’t any, in these situations that conveyed both love and hurt as one. “But seeing you stand in front of me and talk to me about what you’re feeling—that just proves that you do love me. You love me, and that’s why you can admit to things that hurt both of us.”

“Doesn’t it change how you feel about us?” Chisato asked in return. She didn’t believe what she was hearing from Kaoru.

“It does change how I feel,” Kaoru answered. The more she spoke, the more confident she grew in what she was saying. “Change isn’t always bad, though. Because people can change, I got to learn more about what you were going through before we got together. We can change, so that means even when we do or think things that we regret, it doesn’t mean it’s the end. That’s what I’m thinking right now. So, what are you thinking, Chisato?”

Chisato turned her head to the hand still on her cheek, softly kissing the inside of Kaoru’s wrist. She led the two of them to a smaller street, leaning against the stone wall and inviting Kaoru to come closer. Kaoru complied readily. “I’m thinking about how you’re different, but you’re still the same Kao-chan I know. Even if I’m no longer the same person, that doesn’t mean that I’ve lost myself.”

“The same thing goes for love,” Kaoru whispered.

“Change, love… Does any of it scare you?” Chisato strung her arms around Kaoru’s neck and drew her nearer. Their mouths were close enough that Kaoru could feel her breath on her.

Kaoru pressed a kiss on Chisato’s growing smile.

“Who wouldn’t be? But that’s why we have each other.”

It felt like the right thing to say.

…

For Chisato, love was never easy.

She greatly felt the difference between how they treated love. Kaoru fumbled, floundered even, but she never doubted herself. She was far more in tune with her emotions than she had the ability to express. Comparing that to herself, Chisato felt almost insecure. She felt too intensely, yet she buried her emotions, holding them close to her heart and letting few catch a glimpse of it. The ways that they communicated their affections did not always match up.

However, it was precisely because of Kaoru’s imperfect, sincere love that Chisato found that she could be herself in ways she didn’t realize.

Surely it was that same love that explained how Chisato agreed to a date at Michelle Land.

Watching as Kaoru lounged her arms around a Michelle sitting on a bench, as another pink bear mascot handed balloons to children, and one other bear directed a family through the park, Chisato started to wonder how far could love lead someone astray. It was obvious that this amusement park was aimed for children much younger than they were. How did Kaoru fit right in?

“Chisato, come here!” Kaoru beckoned her with an exuberant wave. She approached Kaoru, sending numerous glances towards the Michelle that her girlfriend sat with. Nonetheless, Chisato sat on the other side of Kaoru as the girl raised two hairbands. On the accessories were pink bear ears that resembled the infamous mascot. “Michelle was kind to offer these to us. Oh, Michelle, you truly do know how to make everyone’s day!”

“Yes, how nice of her,” she accepted one of the Michelle hairbands.

With Kaoru putting hers on with great excitement, Chisato discarded any of her last reservations and placed it on her head. She opened up her phone camera to fix her bangs, angling it so that she and Kaoru were in the frame. Chisato was doing her best to ignore that Michelle was also visible behind them. “We _do_ look pretty cute when we watch,” she admitted as she snapped a quick picture.

“That is an obvious statement, my dearly beloved,” Kaoru threw her arms over the back of the bench, so that she had one arm over Chisato’s shoulders and the other around Michelle. “How nice was it for Kokoro’s bodyguards to scout and make sure no paparazzi were allowed in? It’s like we’ve reached our happy ending. To be able to have a date without fear of showing our love to one another… _ahh_ , I could kiss you right now! I can!”

“I am,” the Michelle next to Kaoru spoke in a high-pitched voice. “so, so happy for you two. Ahaha! Ha. Ha. You look like a very happy couple to me! Yep!”

“Misaki-chan?” Chisato stifled her immediate response of panic.

“Misaki?” Kaoru repeated in confusion.

“Ah, yes. Misaki-chan, huh?” Michelle nodded her large pink head in understanding.

“Oh, Michelle,” Kaoru turned to the bear, withdrawing her arm from the mascot in order to pull Chisato into a hug. Chisato wasn’t sure if she liked how thickheaded her girlfriend was, if it meant that Kaoru truly believed that Michelle was a bear and acted as candidly as she was. “Don’t you think my and Chisato’s love is the best? We are unmatched, unrivaled!”

“Yes, actually,” Michelle (Misaki?) surprised Chisato at those words. Leaning her head against Kaoru’s chest, Chisato watched as the giant bear head angled its mesh area to her. “It’s not easy to have to keep a relationship that’s so special a secret.”

“It might feel isolating, sometimes,” Chisato spoke to the bear, smiling as Kaoru kissed the top of her head. “but we know it’s part of the relationship. Plenty of people have to hide parts of themselves all the time.”

No matter the reason they had to date in secret, Kaoru would never demand that Chisato make their relationship known. And Chisato would never demand anything of the sort from Kaoru. The issues they had and would continue to face weren’t about breaching that level of respect.

It was Kaoru who spoke up again. “That’s why we have to treasure the moments that we can be open all the more.” With her arms around Chisato still, Kaoru stood, and the two of them got up together. Kaoru led them in a small circle, so that they eventually wrapped around each other.

“I’m just glad it wasn’t Kokoro.”

Michelle slumped on the bench, a relieved sigh escaping her.

“Who wasn’t Kokoro?” Chisato asked in a noncommittal tone, most of her attention caught in how Kaoru let Chisato take the lead and how easy it would be to kiss each other, if it weren’t for the bear sitting in front of them.

“Oh, uh, haha, well. Um,” Michelle’s arms thrashed as she hopped onto her feet. The commotion brought Kaoru and Chisato to a standstill as they watched Michelle panic in front of them. “Yes, um. I heard from Misaki-chan that she was worried about who Kaoru-chan’s crush might be! Not because of gossip or anything, but see, Misaki-chan talked to me too, and…”

“Is she alright, Michelle?” Kaoru asked, wearing an unusually serious visage.

“You don’t have to worry about her!” The bear’s voice croaked. It was then that she visibly sighed, slouching her shoulders. In a voice that was definitely Misaki Okusawa, the bear sat on the bench again and continued in a defeated tone, “Comparing her to the sun, unable to say no, a kindness that you want to protect… Kaoru-chan apparently used those to describe the person she loved. And those are things that Misaki-chan feels towards Kokoro-chan too. It, uh, makes sense that people in love would see the other person in that way.”

Chisato felt her cheeks burn up. Comparing to the sun? What kind of waxing poet did Kaoru think she was? To think the girl was telling others these kinds of things as well! She turned to her offending girlfriend to find her face flush from embarrassment and striking an awkward pose.

“Oh?? Oh??? _Oh?_ ” At each syllable, Kaoru found a new pose to cover her embarrassment with. “For Misaki to be so misled m-must mean that my words have a universal message in them. How fleeting…!”

Michelle facepalmed into her furry white paws.

Chisato ended up sitting next to the bear, offering what little condolences she could as she forced Kaoru to get them drinks.

“Kaoru-san might be a lot to handle, but I guess most of it comes from a good place,” Misaki said, temporarily removing the Michelle head to breathe fresh air.

The two girls looked up at the blue sky, dappled with white clouds. They didn’t know exactly what to say to each other, whether it was about admitting Kaoru’s words or Misaki’s own confession, so they said nothing, opting to simmer in their own thoughts in silence.

Chisato thought back on the last week, from the conversation on the street to waking up in each other’s arms, and she thought about how things wouldn’t stay the same, because they had the chance to change. Even now, she still had trouble articulating what exactly is her own expression of love, in ways that were comfortable and true to herself—but perhaps she didn’t have to know right away, so long as she was with Kaoru.

She was looking forward to it.

**Author's Note:**

> Written to the Persona 4 OST, though mainly [Never More](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTWSOBUNiPk) and [Smile](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZMW7zS7F7s)!
> 
> Valentine's exchange with DANIIIII 😻👉💛  
> Getting back into writing, thought I'd do something for a good friend :) She's also opening up commissions soon if you wanna [support a cool person](https://twitter.com/dllnllb). Here's [her part](https://twitter.com/dllnllb/status/1229535444024598529) of the exchange!  
> Work notes: The focal point of how I wanted to portray their relationship clicked for me halfway through, so I ended up editing the entire first half to align more with that. Creative writing felt rusty since I haven't finished anything in awhile. Felt good to push myself, though! Hopefully I can pick things up again.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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